


Come up and see me, make me smile

by Pameluke



Series: Vidit, Vicit, Venit [4]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Jewelry Kink, Knotting, Knotting Dildos, M/M, Magnus Bane's Warlock Mark Is His Cock, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Porn with Feelings, Sex Toys, consensual voyeurism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-16
Updated: 2020-07-16
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:09:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,827
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25317328
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pameluke/pseuds/Pameluke
Summary: Alec has never been the most diplomatic person, but he likes to think he's getting better at it. Diplomacy is mostly about respect, about listening to the other party, about waiting for the right moment to ask for what you want, and about offering something of at least equal value in return. It's about learning to compromise and working together to reach a common goal.Relationships aren't much different, Alec has learned. Granted, there's also a whole lot more kissing involved than with other diplomatic endeavors, but Alec's all in favor of that.Who knows, Alec might learn to love diplomacy.
Relationships: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Series: Vidit, Vicit, Venit [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/553066
Comments: 15
Kudos: 236





	Come up and see me, make me smile

Alec has never been the most diplomatic person. He’s too blunt, sometimes slightly abrasive, and occasionally too set in his ways. But as the acting Head of the Institute, he's had to learn a lot and learn it quickly, since diplomacy is one of his main tools in navigating the New York Downworld politics. There's a lot of bad blood and even worse history, and trying to appease all the different parties and move forward is hard work. Alec likes to think he's gotten better at it. Diplomacy is mostly about respect, about listening to the other party, about waiting for the right moment to ask for what you want, and about offering something of at least equal value in return. It's about learning to compromise and working together to reach a common goal.

Relationships aren't much different, Alec has learned. Show that you are listening and are honest about what you want and expect, even when it's hard, and things turn out okay. Magnus is brilliant and different, and his suggestions are always worth listening to, whether political or personal in nature. Compromising for him never feels like a sacrifice but rather like a gift, and it's only changed his life for the better. Granted, there's also a whole lot more kissing involved than with other diplomatic endeavors, but Alec's all in favor of that. Who knows, Alec might learn to love diplomacy.

* * *

“Alexander,” Magnus calls from the dresser. "Can you join me for a moment?" 

Alec finds him amidst the usual chaos of discarded clothing and accessories, next to Alec’s recently added section of the closet. At his feet is a familiar wooden box, opened. _Oh_. Alec can feel himself flush, and when Magnus turns around, even Alec’s ears have turned red.

“What’s this?” Magnus asks, even though he must have seen the box’ contents, and Alec is very much aware that nothing in that box can be unfamiliar for Magnus.

“Those are my toys,” Alec says, voice a little hoarse. He’s not ashamed, not even really embarrassed. He just hadn’t been prepared to have this conversation on a regular Tuesday afternoon. He’d thought he would have time to prepare, or that he would bring up the conversation himself. “For practice.” Alec gestures vaguely with his hand, not wanting to seem crude. 

Magnus’ brow lifts, and like every one of his expressions, it’s distractingly attractive. “Practice?” Magnus asks, even though Alec has told him all about this particular practice. 

Still, Alec flushes, because while he does think of his solitary activities as practice for if Magnus ever changes his mind about fucking Alec, it feels almost like an untruth because of the sheer enjoyment Alec derives from it. Actual training has never felt so pleasurable. “Yeah… Max is back at the Institute, and he’s too curious for his own good, so I figured it was best to bring them here. Didn’t want him to find them. Is that okay?”

Alec is sure Magnus has a toy collection of his own somewhere in the loft, but they’re still so enamored with each other and there is still so much to explore with each other’s bodies that they haven’t really ventured there. Yet. Apparently, that time has come now. 

The toy is out of the box, so to speak.

“That’s more than okay,” Magnus says. “I like to share my home with you, Alexander.” He fiddles with one of his necklaces for a moment, as if the admission is too personal. They haven't really talked about their living situation. Alec has just started spending more and more nights here, and Magnus has made some room in his closets for his stuff. Although Alec has barely made use of it, since he doesn't own all that much. He doesn't need stuff to feel at home here.

For a moment the silence is heavy with a whole other unspoken conversation. 

It doesn’t take long for the familiar glint to return to Magnus' eyes, however, and the curve of his lips is definitely a teasing one. Alec’s starting to recognize Magnus’ different smiles, but this is one of his favorites — the teasing smile that had made Alec fall in love with him when they first met.

“Of course. You are most welcome to resume your training here as well. Wouldn’t want you to become rusty.”

Alec snorts, then flushes, the idea of pleasuring himself with his toys on Magnus’ opulent sheets making his stomach swoop for some reason. Alec feels at home in Magnus’ loft, but he hasn’t yet spent much time in it alone, and the idea that he’d do something so self-indulgent and private somewhere Magnus might walk in any moment is something so far out of his comfort zone that he can’t quite fathom it.

Magnus keeps perusing the toy box, Alec’s nerves making him shift in place while Magnus trails a finger over the various items without quite touching them. “Which one is your favorite?” 

Magnus breaks the silence and Alec lets out a relieved breath, glad that this is an easy question he knows the answer to. Magnus must interpret his sigh differently though, because he turns to Alec with an abashed look on his face. “You don’t have to answer, of course, every man deserves some private interests… It’s just idle curiosity on my part, so don’t feel obliged.”

Alec smiles. “Idle?” he asks pointedly. “I’d think you’d have a vested interest in my continued _practice_."

Magnus' smile turns relieved first, then very, very wicked. “Believe me, Alexander,” he says, voice husky while he steps closer into Alec’s personal space to trail a finger over Alec's collarbone. “My interest is very vested.”

“Good,” Alec mumbles, skin flushing despite his bravado. Then, he points to a dark blue toy. “This one’s my favorite.”

Magnus turns quiet again, cheeks turning a little darker, his turn to blush. They both look at the toy, and Alec doesn’t need to explain why it’s his favorite. It’s the one that most closely resembles Magnus’ real cock, both in size and girth, and including the bulbous appendage at the base of it. He has a couple of bigger toys that he occasionally practices with, but the blue one is the one he most often returns to, to think of Magnus while he fucks himself with it.

“Oh,” Magnus breathes, almost inaudibly.

“Yeah,” Alec replies nonsensically. “I-”

“Do you want to show me?” Magnus interrupts him. He looks up at Alec with a jolt, as if the words escaped his mouth without him aiming to say them out loud. “Alexander, I’m sorry. That was too much to ask.”

Alec’s heart is hammering, the earlier image of Magnus walking in on Alec spread out over his satin sheets while Alec is playing with a dildo transforming to one where Magnus was always there, watching him. Maybe even encouraging him. Telling him how to pleasure himself.

“We can try,” Alec says, surprising both of them.

His answer hangs in the air for a moment, both of them seemingly frozen. Then Magnus moves into his space and pulls Alec's head down for a kiss, his hand warm on Alec’s neck. By the time they part, Alec is slightly breathless, and he can feel some of Magnus’ lipgloss on his own lips. Magnus hasn’t let go of his neck yet, his fingers playing with the soft hairs there. Alec closes his eyes, leans his forehead against Magnus’. “Do you want to… now?”

Alec can hear Magnus’ breath catch at his suggestion. “Very much so,” Magnus speaks so soft, it’s barely a whisper. It’s flattering he’s so affected by the idea of Alec using a toy. Then, a little less quiet and with more of his usual flair, Magnus adds, “It’s not like I had anything else on my calendar anyway.” 

Alec snorts and pushes at Magnus' chest.

“I’m serious, Alexander, no appointments means we can take our time.” Magnus’ voice turns heated. “It means _you_ can take your time.”

“Right,” Alec says. “Sure.” He’s not quite sure what to do with himself now that they’ve decided on this course of action. After all, it’s not like at home, where he stumbles into his bedroom after a long workday at the Institute, missing Magnus. Magnus is right here, close enough to touch, his cock hidden only behind two layers of fabric, all his for the taking if he wants.

Instead, after a moment of awkward shuffling, Alec takes the box from Magnus' hands. He takes a couple of breaths to decide on how he wants to do this, then decides on his favorite combo of a smaller toy to get him started, and then his favorite one to end.

Once he’s made his choice, he lingers in the closet for a moment. But if the idea is to show Magnus how he practices and plays at home, there’s no use in staying here — Magnus’ walk-in closet is incomparable and the location of many of Alec’s fantasies, but it’s not part of his habit when he does _this_.

So Alec walks into the bedroom, looking over his shoulder at Magnus when he has reached the bed. “Are you coming? Or are you watching from over there?”

“Oh, I’m definitely coming. But you’ll be coming first.” Magnus laughs at his own joke while he follows Alec to the bedroom. Alec rolls his eyes, but secretly he’s glad for Magnus’ bad puns because they alleviate the nervous tension that’s definitely starting to build in his stomach.

Alec starts to undress next to the bed, when he notices that Magnus hasn’t followed him all the way to the bed. Instead, he’s settling down on the red sofa that’s part of the bedroom decor this month. It’s heavy and curved and reminds Alec of something out of a boudoir. Seeing Magnus holding a glass of red wine, ankles crossed, stirs something hot and slightly uncomfortable in Alec’s stomach. “You’re not… You’re going to watch from there?”

Magnus looks at him expectantly. “Well, I figured that if I joined you on the bed, that would ruin the atmosphere of you showing me what you do when you’re alone. But if you don’t like it, I can join you, of course.”

Alec gets what Magnus means, and he’s getting quite a detailed impression of what Magnus intends with tonight’s scenario. He’s just not entirely sure how he feels about being on display like that. His cock is half-hard in his pants however, so that part of him is definitely into the idea. On the couch, Magnus’ cheeks are flushed, which means he’s very much interested in Alec proceeding with this, so Alec decides to go for it.

He closes his eyes for a moment, trying to imagine being in the Institute, after a long day of missing Magnus, and finally having some privacy in the quiet of his room. He undresses quickly and efficiently, not making a show of it, even if he’s very aware of Magnus watching him. For a moment he debates whether to activate his Stamina rune, to be able to prolong his pleasure for a couple of orgasms. In the end, he decides not to. He might be willing to show Magnus how he does this, he's still not convinced he's willing to put on a show. There's a difference.

He gets the lube from the bedside table and settles on the bed, knees bent, feet on the mattress. He can hear Magnus make a soft sound and some shuffling sounds and when Alec looks at him, he can see Magnus has moved on the couch, just enough so he has full sight of how Alec is spread out, but in a way that they can still make eye-contact.

Magnus' eyes travel over Alec's naked body while he takes a sip of his wine. Alec flushes and stays frozen in place until Magnus makes a ‘go-on’ motion with his hand, and Alec leans his head back on the mattress.

It’s easy enough to start, a couple of lazy strokes to his cock, nudging it to full hardness, then stroking down to his balls and perineum. Just some simple exploration while he forgets the distractions of the day and focuses on himself and his body. It’s a little meditative, like a familiar ritual, and for a couple of beats, Alec does in fact forget that he’s not doing this solely for himself. Forgets that Magnus is watching.

He started experimenting with toys as a way to become comfortable with his own body, to try and prepare himself so if ever Magnus changed his mind and wanted to fuck him with his beautiful cock, Alec would be ready. By now, he has learned that he enjoys fucking himself, loves working up to bigger and bigger dildoes. He has a better understanding of his own body now, of what he loves and likes, how to best give himself pleasure. Practicing with toys has definitely been its own reward. Even so, Magnus watching him feels like coming full-circle somehow, pleasuring himself for Magnus' sake once more. Or maybe, it feels as possibly the beginning of the next step. A next step.

Alec is the last one to put pressure on Magnus to fuck him. He's very happy with their sex life, discovering new things about Magnus and himself every day. But he can’t deny he’s been thinking about it. It’s such a good fantasy, mostly because it could be real. Some day.

So it feels important, showing Magnus this part of himself. 

In the same vein, Magnus is the last one to put pressure on Alec. He’s never judged Alec and his ability to ‘perform’, has never put any expectations on Alec whatsoever. But the problem is, Alec is Alec, and he doesn’t need anyone else to put expectations on him. He’s quite capable of doing that all by himself.

When it feels like his whole body is ready with the program, Alec spurts some lube on his fingers and carefully starts to open himself up with one finger, getting himself nice and wet. It’s probably messy, but he’s never had to worry about people seeing any of this, and so far messy has gotten the job done, so he’s not changing anything.

Magnus is very quiet, Alec can’t even hear him breathe. He could look at him of course, could look at the expression on Magnus’ face, gauge if he liked what he’s seeing. But… if Alec is doing it wrong somehow, he doesn’t want to know. So he keeps his eyes closed or looks at the ceiling, trying not to focus on the real Magnus watching him but to get lost in his usual fantasy of Magnus doing this to him. Fingering him open for his cock.

While he sometimes fingers himself just for the sake of fingering himself, taking his time and lingering on the stretch and stimulating his prostate to bring himself off, this is not about that. It’s all slightly perfunctory, getting himself nice and stretched enough so he can move on to his toys.

His cock has flagged somewhat, so Alec strokes himself in tandem with the thrust of his fingers. Normally, the fantasy of Magnus' fingers on his skin is enough to keep him hard, but the nerves must be affecting him.

When his cock is back in the game, Alec grabs the smaller toy, gets it covered in lube, and presses it against himself. It can’t be sexy, his knees spread, both of his arms reaching between them. Magnus does make a soft sound though, so Alec guesses it works for him somehow.

Alec breathes out, tries to relax, and tries to focus on the feeling of the toy softly pressing in, on the stretch and the fullness. He doesn’t press it in all the way, but instead slowly circles it, focusing on stretching his rim, getting himself ready for more.

It’s hard though, not to focus on Magnus instead of himself. He keeps straining his ears to try and catch any sounds Magnus’ might make in reaction. Keeps having to squish his eyes shut so he doesn’t look at Magnus and what he might see on his face. Keeps having to remind himself to focus on the fantasy instead of where he is and how it might look and whether it’s meeting Magnus’ expectations.

His cock is flagging again, and pushing in the dildo deeper doesn’t help, nor does pressing it against his prostate.

Alec leaves out a shuddering breath. “I don’t like this,” he says quietly. Yet the sound of his voice seems to echo in the room, everything going quiet. “I don’t like doing it like this,” Alec admits. His eyes are still closed, his body still frozen in the same position, hands on the toy. He has no idea how to proceed from here, except that he kind of wants to hide under the covers. Or maybe in the bathroom. But then he’ll have to open his eyes and see the disappointment on Magnus’ face, and that prospect is even worse. 

Alec’s mind is spiraling when he feels the mattress dip, feels Magnus’ cool fingers sliding over his shin and curving softly around his knee. “Alexander, hey… You’re fine, it’s okay.” His voice is soft and soothing and Alec wants to bristle because he doesn’t need soothing. Except that he kind of does.

Magnus circles his thumb over the inside of Alec’s knee, and for a couple of breaths, the soothing touches are all Alec focuses on.

“I couldn’t relax,” Alec confesses. “I’m sorry.”

“There’s no need to apologize. We tried something, it didn’t work out, no harm done.” Magnus hesitates. “I hope.”

Alec lets out a breath, then reaches for Magnus’ hand. He’s been wanting to reach for Magnus for what seems like hours, and therein lies the problem exactly. “I’m good, Magnus, truly. No harm done.” Alec bites his lip, trying to find the words to explain. “It’s just… When I normally think about doing this with you, everything revolves around _you_. I really needed you to touch me, I guess.”

Alec can hear the relief in Magnus' voice when he answers. “Well, touching you is easy enough.” He slides his other hand up Alec’s leg now, skipping to his hip and caressing his stomach. Alec kind of wants to pull him on top of him and cuddle, but he feels very naked and Magnus is still mostly dressed, based on the rustling of his clothes Alec can hear. Plus, he still feels kind of tender, like his heart and body have been bruised somehow.

Magnus’ hands are roaming everywhere, leaving not a patch of skin untouched, mapping and stroking and caressing until Alec no longer feels like a nerve laid bare, but somewhere between a sleepy kitten and a very aroused one. To his surprise, even though it's the only part of him Magnus doesn't touch, his cock hardens once more, stirred by Magnus' touches.

“Do you want to take this out?” Magnus interrupts his thoughts. He doesn’t touch the dildo, but he’s gently caressing the curve of Alec’s ass, close enough that it makes Alec shudder out a breath.

“No!” Alec says, a little more forceful than he intended. “I want you to fuck me with it.” The words tumble out fast and hurried, and Alec flushes with how needy and wanton he sounds. “You can get naked first though… If you want to.”

When Alec finally musters up the power to look at Magnus, Magnus is grinning wide enough that Alec can see his tongue-piercing glinting, his cheeks a little flushed too.

“That would be my absolute pleasure, Alexander.” The way he lets the word pleasure roll around in his mouth makes Alec flush even more, skin suddenly tingling with anticipation. Maybe he hasn't ruined everything after all.

Magnus must understand that Alec still feels vulnerable, because he doesn’t waste time with the complicated process of undressing himself, but instead whisks his clothes away with a snap of his fingers.

Alec blinks and suddenly there’s a very naked Magnus bracing himself over Alec, dipping down his head to kiss Alec. Alec sighs into it, finally properly relaxing into the mattress, one hand trailing up Magnus’ neck to keep him close. That's all he ever wants, to have Magnus close. Naked and touching him everywhere.

Magnus might have whisked away his clothes, but most of his jewelry he left on. It offers Alec little points of sensation to anchor himself, the cool metal of Magnus' necklaces pooling on Alec's chest, the way the stone of his belly button-ring brushes against Alec's hip, how the metal of Magnus' rings contrasts with the softness of Magnus skin everywhere he touches Alec. With every touch, every caress, Alec's brought back more into the moment. Until he's panting, his blood heated with desire. 

"Please..." Alec whispers. "Please, Magnus." 

With two fingers pressed against Alec's throat, Magnus kisses him softly on the lips. Then, a teasing grin on his lips, he slides his fingers down, following his own trail with his lips and tongue. He takes a moment to settle down between Alec's legs, spreading Alec's thighs a little more to make room for himself. Alec expects Magnus to finally start fucking him, but instead, Magnus licks a stripe up Alec's cock, pressing his tongue-piercing against Alec's sensitive skin, circling it around the head of his cock.

Alec cries out, stuffing his hand in his mouth in an embarrassed attempt to muffle the sound. Magnus lifts his head, just stroking his thumbs over Alec's hipbones until Alec manages to look back at him. "Let's make a deal," Magnus suggests, in the same tone of voice he uses at the negation table of the Downworld Cabinet. Alec's can't believe that's a turn on now, but it is. It so is. "I'll use all the toys you want on you, as long as you let me hear you. That sound good?" 

The blood rushes to Alec's cock at Magnus' words, making it twitch where it's lying on his stomach. He nods in agreement, but when Magnus lifts a brow at him in admonishment, Alec consents softly. "Yes. That sounds- That sounds good." 

Magnus grins and licks at Alec's cock again, ending it with a soft kiss at his cock-head. He strokes Alec's thigh, leaning his head against Alec's opposite knee. Then he finally, finally touches the toy still stuck inside of Alec. It's the barest of touches, but still, all of Alec seems to come alive at the feeling of it. Magnus slips a finger down from his knee to his groin, tracing Alec's rim where it's closed around the toy.

"Just making sure you're wet enough," Magnus explains, while he keeps sliding his fingers around Alec's hole. It feels more like exploration than just checking, but Alec doesn't mind. He so, so, _so_ doesn't mind. With a soft click, Alec hears Magnus open the lube, and then there's a cold and wet finger tracing his rim, making him shiver. Soon, Alec feels sloppy, almost embarrassed about how wet he feels. But the protest dies on his lips when Magnus presses in a finger next to the toy, opening Alec up. Alec bites back a moan, shifting slightly on the mattress. 

Magnus nips at Alec's inner thigh, the sting of it pulling Alec's focus back to him. "Ah ah. We agreed you'd let me hear you, Alexander." 

Alec rolls his eyes and knocks a knee against Magnus' shoulder. "I'd let you hear me if you'd just get on with it." He means to sound reproaching, but it comes out plaintive instead, his voice slightly rough. 

Magnus chuckles. "I will, don't you worry." He presses a kiss at the same spot he nipped at, then trails kisses down from Alec's knee to his groin, until Alec's thigh is trembling. "Need to get close enough so I can watch you properly." His breaths fan over Alec's wet hole now, making Alec shiver again, while his cheeks burn red. It's what he's been fantasizing about, Magnus looking at him while he pleasures Alec, but the reality is so much... more than he expected.

Then, finally, Magnus pushes the toy all the way in, only to then slowly pull it out. When it slips out with a pop, they both let out a heavy breath. Magnus brushes his fingers over Alec's hole again, soft and tender, spreading more of the lube around. There's a moment of tension when Magnus presses the toy against him again, but eventually his body yields, the toy sliding in almost easily.

"Hnng," Alec moans, when the toy is all the way in. Magnus lets it sit there for a moment, letting Alec adjust, but before Alec can get impatient, he pulls it out again. This time, he presses a kiss against Alec's perineum when the toy is out, making Alec gasp in surprise. Magnus seems to be done teasing Alec for now though, because it feels like he's intending to properly fuck Alec now. He pushes the toy all the way in again, then starts to build a slow rhythm of push and pull. Magnus doesn't let Alec relax into it however, sometimes pulling out the toy completely to blow on Alec's rim, then pushing it in all the way and then somehow deeper, pushing against the base.

It's a lot, and so much better than Alec could ever have imagined it or do himself. Because it's Magnus doing this to him. Magnus making him so hard there's precome smeared all over his stomach. Magnus making him so horny he's got one hand braced against the headboard and the other fisted into his mouth, biting at it. Until Magnus tsks and nips at his thigh again to remind Alec he's supposed to let all his noises out. So Magnus makes him gasp and pant and moan until it's all too much again and Alec has to bite at his hand. He has to.

Magnus doesn't touch his cock. Doesn't touch Alec at all anymore, except for the occasional nip at his thigh to remind Alec to keep letting Magnus hear him. But every thrust of the toy makes Alec feel more, need more, want more, until it feels like his whole skin, his whole body is shivering in anticipation. "More," he gasps. "Please, Magnus, more."

Magnus' cheeks are flushed and his eyes are heated when he lifts his head to look at Alec, faint traces of lube and precome smeared across his lips. "What do you want?" he asks. Alec feels relieved and somewhat gratified that Magnus' voice sounds as rough as Alec's voice. He’s glad that this isn't leaving Magnus unaffected. 

"Everything," Alec sighs out. It's hard to form a coherent reply when his brains feel so scrambled. "More... More touching and more thrusting and more fucking and more..."

"Do you want a bigger toy?" Magnus asks, hand on Alec's thigh as if he needs to hold on to something at the thought.

"Yeah," Alec says. He sounds breathy and desperate, but with Magnus, it feels okay to be so.

Magnus smiles and moves up a little to kiss Alec's stomach, twisting the toy inside of him, making Alec squirm at the new sensation. "The sight you make," Magnus mumbles. "Makes me want to ravish you." Magnus leans up, the familiar teasing smile curving around his lips. "Alas, I can't, since I've got a job ahead of me."

Alec groans, swatting at Magnus who leans just out of reach. "You're an evil tease."

Magnus just grins and picks up the bigger toy Alec had selected. It's one of his favorites, but one Alec always has to work for. Magnus slicks it up with lube, then settles back in his earlier position between Alec's legs. He pulls out the first toy without much ado, but then pushes in his fingers instead of Alec's favorite one. "Just making sure," Magnus mumbles. Alec's heart swells at the care in Magnus' touch, in the way he carefully strokes Alec's rim, then thrusts his fingers inside, just deep enough to stroke Alec's prostate. 

"Fuck," Alec gasps out, squirming again. With Magnus' fingers inside of him, the pleasure feels more pointed, and Alec is sure Magnus could make him come in less than two minutes, not touching anywhere except for where his fingers are thrusting inside of him. But a quick orgasm doesn't always mean a better orgasm, Alec has learned. 

Sometimes, the satisfaction lies in the gratification after a lot of build-up.

Magnus seems to be of the same mindset, because he doesn't immediately work the bigger toy inside of Alec, but instead teases him with the blunt head of it, sliding it against Alec's hole, offering the occasional soft pressure. It's only when Alec knocks against Magnus' side with the heel of his foot, in a get-on-with-it gesture, that Magnus starts to push it in. Alec has to take a deep breath when he feels the pressure mount, then let's it go in an attempt to relax. He wants it so bad, but his body always needs a little convincing.

Alec knows the toy intimately, the shape and every curve of it, the width of the head, and how the shaft broadens even more. He's traced the veins with his tongue, has nosed at the knot at the base. He's tried to swallow it down over and over again, growing his deepthroat skills one fake blow job at a time. He's been half-way pretending the toy is Magnus' cock for so long now, it's slightly exhilarating to know it's Magnus' who is holding it now, who's wielding it, who's fucking Alec with it. In a way, it's even better than the real thing — as far as Alec can imagine the real thing — because he can feel the heat of Magnus' breath fluttering against the sensitive skin of his groin.

"Tell me why it's your favorite," Magnus says, voice traveling over Alec's body, somehow making him flush a deep red, Alec's blood burning with flustered arousal. He both loathes it and loves it when Magnus makes him talk during sex. Loathes it because it's hard and out of his comfort zone, no matter how many times they do this. Loves it because it always, always makes him feel hotter, makes him feel his own desire more, like voicing it makes his pleasure crest a little higher, a little more. Magnus never insists, but it's always worth it, no matter how flustered it makes Alec feel. 

"It's because... it's big..." Alec pants, squirming on the mattress while he gets the words out, trying to push himself against the toy. Get it inside of him. 

"Mmmm," is Magnus' only reaction. He still just keeps teasing Alec, as if he's expecting more. Alec groans, arching his body. 

"It's my favorite," Alec pants. "Because it looks like your real cock." Alec is sure Magnus must have realized it, but still his soft inhale sounds like a gasp of surprise. 

"Alexander," Magnus breathes, voice laced with affection. Then, finally, Magnus breaches Alec with the toy, spreading Alec's rim around the head. He pauses for a moment when the head's all the way in, letting Alec adjust to it. Magnus presses a kiss against the inside of Alec's thigh, breath ghosting over Alec's skin, making him shiver. "I can take it," Alec says, spreading his knees even more. He's at the stage where his body isn't sure what it wants, except that it wants more, more of something, anything. Experience has taught Alec that this is when it really starts to get good, so he's eager to get on with it. "I _want_ to take it," Alec says, a little more insistently.

Magnus licks at his thigh, and Alec's cock twitches at the feeling of that tongue piercing sliding over his skin, while Alec gasps at the tingling rush of pleasure running up his spine. "Fuck," he breathes. "How do you always make me feel so much?" He can feel Magnus grinning against his skin, but then, before Alec can say anything else, Magnus pushes Alec's toy further in. 

Alec shudders out a breath. This, his body opening up slowly but surely, is his favorite part of fucking himself with bigger toys. Normally his arms are straining at the angle by now, and being able to enjoy the sensation without having to work for it proves to be more overwhelming than he thought. "Fuck," Alec groans again, then when Magnus slows down, he hastily adds, "it'sgooddon'tstop, please..."

Magnus doesn't stop, but he does start to pull the toy back out again, just when the toy was going to hit Alec's prostate. Alec whines, a soft instinctive sound in the back of his throat. It turns into a groan when Magnus pushes the toy back in again, with a little more force this time and a little deeper too. He builds up a rhythm like that, thrusting into Alec a little deeper and a little harder every time, but pulling it out teasingly slow. Alec's prostate is finally getting the stimulation he's wanted for hours, and it feels so good Alec's toes are curling with it.

Alec is sure his orgasm is imminent, when Magnus suddenly stops. Alec groans desperately and slaps at Magnus' hand on his hip, urging him to go on. "Alexander," Magnus starts to say, which is not fucking Alec with a toy, so not exactly what Alec wants. Magnus' voice sounds appealingly husky though, and when, after a couple of breaths, Alec manages to lift his head to look at Magnus, he looks pretty flushed. "Didn't want to be a tease, but it was either letting you come on your toy like this, or..." Magnus breaks off, reaching for his ear in a nervous manner. For a moment Alec's heart almost seizes with affection and need. Does Magnus mean? Is he going to? 

"Or?" Alec asks, utterly breathless, his desire and anticipation obvious in the whiny quality of his voice. 

"Or you could come... That is, do you usually?" Magnus' flustered hesitance is very out of character. "This toy has a knot... do you usually use that? Is that what you want to come on?"

Alec shudders with his whole body. "Yeah," he stammers. "That's what I want. That's what I do when I think of you." When he thinks of Magnus' real cock.

Magnus freezes and everything in the room seems awfully quiet for a moment, nothing audible except for Alec's panting breaths. Then, Magnus moves up Alec's body to take Alec's mouth in a devouring kiss, tongue pushing into Alec's mouth like he's claiming it. Alec gives himself over to it, sliding a hand up Magnus' back until he can tangle his fingers into Magnus' hair. When they part, Magnus rests his forehead against Alec's, panting for breath. "I can't believe you spend all those nights at the Institute, doing this, thinking of _me_." Magnus sounds overcome, some deeper emotion lacing his voice than mere arousal.

"I only ever think of you," Alec admits. "No matter what I'm doing, I can't do anything without thinking about you." Alec shifts a little and groans when that shifts the toy inside of him as well, pleasure shooting up his spine. "And definitely, ah, not this." Alec could never pleasure himself without thinking of Magnus, Magnus has pretty much become the reason he's doing it altogether. 

Magnus looks at him for a moment, then kisses him again, a little desperate, his hips moving in fits and starts, his cock hard and hot against Alec's stomach. Alec is ready to throw the whole toy idea away and just do this, mindless heated rutting against each other, until their bodies are spent. But Magnus is a stronger man than him, because suddenly he tears himself away, chest heaving, patting Alec on the arm as if to console him. "Sorry, got carried away there for a moment." There's no need to apologize, Alec always wants Magnus' kisses, especially when they're heated and desperate and so all-consuming. But he doesn't get the chance to explain, because Magnus is moving down Alec's chest again, kissing and nipping Alec's overheated skin wherever he goes, turning Alec's brain to mush.

Magnus is just so hot and so skilled with his fingers and mouth, Alec can never resist. 

"I'm going to make you come on this knot," Magnus swears, biting at Alec's thigh as he pushes back Alec's legs to spread him open further. Alec shudders, because it sounds like "I'm going to make you come on _my_ knot," to his ears. Magnus pulls on his hands, and Alec follows his guidance until he gets what Magnus wants and wraps his hands around his knees, to hold his legs up towards him. To hold himself _open_ for Magnus. Alec's a little flustered at the position, especially with the dildo still sticking out of him, but when Magnus groans a little under his breath at the sight, Alec lets go of his embarrassment. He'd find the sight of Magnus splayed out like this breathtakingly hot, so he guesses Magnus might feel the same about him. 

Magnus slides his hands down the sensitive skin of Alec's thighs, the metal of his rings making Alec shudder. Then Magnus reaches for the toy again, pushing it all the way in until the head is resting against Alec's prostate, and the knot is nestled against his rim. "Let's get you ready," Magnus whispers hoarsely. He twists the toy, not too hard but still sudden, making Alec gasp and pant at the sensation. "Need to spread you open even more, make sure you can take it." He keeps twisting the toy, until he's come full circle, then he starts circling it, stretching Alec's rim properly, while hitting Alec's prostate with the head.

It's a lot of sensation, and Alec feels so full and so stimulated, he's panting and writhing, feeling as close and overwhelmed as before Magnus put the brake on it.

"You should see yourself," Magnus whispers. "So gorgeous, so overcome, so sensitive." He presses an openmouthed kiss to Alec's inner thigh, then sucks on the sensitive skin, almost making Alec cry out. He hopes it leaves a mark. 

Magnus keeps twisting and circling the toy until Alec can't take it anymore and is sure he's going to burst, fingers white-knuckled where he's holding onto himself, head thrashing against the pillows. "Magnus, please," Alec begs, unashamed, his need overcoming his usual reservedness. Alec could come like this, is so very close to coming all over himself, but he's trying to hold it all back, waiting for Magnus to finally push his knot in. The toy knot.

"Shhhh," Magnus soothes him, hand stroking Alec's leg and ass, "you're almost there." He starts to push while he circles the toy, pressing the knot against Alec harder and harder. 

Alec holds in a breath and desperately wills his body to give in, to relax, to open for Magnus. Slowly but surely, his body does, yielding a little more with every twist, his rim stretching a little wider with every thrust. 

"Gorgeous," Magnus breathes out, fingers digging into Alec's hip where he's holding on. 

Alec's body starts to shudder uncontrollably. "Please," Alec begs again, as if it's the only word he remembers how to speak. "Please."

With a soft little sound, the knot finally slides home. Alec keens in elation, his whole body tensing up. Magnus groans, the sound reverberating through Alec's veins, goosebumps running over his skin. He can't take anything more, he's so full, the toy presses against his prostate so hard, everything is so stretched and so much and Alec is going to burst into a million pieces.

Magnus strokes Alec's cock, and Alec comes, biting on his fingers, his other hand ripping the sheet while he shouts out his orgasm.

When Alec manages to open his eyes, Magnus is standing on his knees, gasping while he frantically jerks his cock, still looking down between Alec's legs, at the toy lodged deep inside of him. Alec's arms are trembling but still he manages to pull up his knees a little more, to give Magnus a slightly better vantage point. Magnus moans, and three strokes more make him come with a bitten-back cry, his come spilling all over Alec's groin and thighs. With a tired groan, Magnus topples over, falling between Alec's legs on his stomach. Alec let's his legs fall down, thighs shaking with the effort of holding them up all this time, and pats Magnus on the head.

* * *

It takes a while for Alec's heart to calm down, his whole body feeling buzzy and heavy at the same time. The only movement he's capable of is carding his fingers through Magnus' hair, hand resting heavy on Magnus' head. So that's what he keeps doing until Magnus stirs. They're sticky where both of their come has been plastered between them and Alec groans a little when Magnus detaches himself from him and flops down on his back next to him.

"Scoot up," Alec demands when Magnus stays too far away. It's Magnus' time to groan while he shuffles up the mattress. He ends up on his side next to Alec and flops down a hand on Alec's chest where he plays a little with Alec's chest hair. Alec sighs happily, lifts Magnus' hand to his mouth to press a kiss to his fingers, and then lays it on his chest again, nudging Magnus a little when he doesn't immediately start to pet Alec again. At his shoulder, Alec can feel Magnus smile against his chin, which makes him smile in turn.

They enjoy their well-deserved afterglow like this, all cosy and close, until the toy in Alec's ass starts to feel slightly uncomfortable. He shifts his legs on the mattress, trying to find a position that's better than his current one, since he really doesn't want to break the mood — quietly enjoying the afterglow together is one of his favorite parts of sex — but nothing really helps. 

"I'll take care of you," Magnus says, patting Alec's stomach. He slowly sits up, eyes half-lidded and cheeks rosy with satisfaction still. His hair's a wild mess, even though Alec doesn't feel like he got to put his hands in it as much as he normally does. He looks sexy and a little smug, and Alec feels his heart seize with affection and emotion at the sight of him like this. Magnus stretches like a lazy cat, then moves down between Alec's legs again. When he touches the toy, Alec hisses a little, always slightly sensitive after a deep orgasm like this. 

Magnus strokes Alec's thigh to soothe him, then slowly and carefully starts to work the knot out of Alec's ass. "That's the upside of a real knot," Magnus comments off-handedly. "They go down on their own." The knot slips out with a soft sound and the cock part of the toy follows smoothly after. It's only then that Magnus seems to realize what he just said, looking up at Alec with wide eyes, fingers digging into Alec's leg a little. "That's- I'm not... Uhm."

Alec pats Magnus' hand. "It's okay, Magnus, you don't have to explain." Magnus nods once, then magics a soft cloth to clean Alec's stomach with. Alec sighs a little when he carefully cleans Alec's ass. 

"Fuck, this was really, really great," Alec says when Magnus has finished cleaning them both, making him smile. "I am, of course, very open to the idea of trying a real knot, but there's a reason this one is my favorite, it's _so good_."

Magnus smirks, still perched between Alec's legs. "Open to it, huh?" He says just a little teasing hint in his voice. He looks down between Alec's legs, then arches his brow when he looks back up at Alec. "I can tell."

Alec swats at him. Magnus just grins, then crawls up Alec's body to press a kiss to Alec's lips, stealing Alec's breath. His face turns a little more serious when Alec opens his eyes again.

"I'm not sure I'm ready for trying to knot you myself yet, Alexander. I'm not sure I ever will be. But I'm willing to entertain the possibility." Magnus sounds soft and serious, but not as fraught as the first time they discussed this. 

Alec wraps his arms around Magnus' back, burying his hands in Magnus' hair. "We never have to," Alec says, and no matter his fantasies, he really means it. "I love you, Magnus." A little thrill goes through Alec's body at saying that out loud, because it's still very new to actually express how he feels. "And I love every part of you, including your warlock marks." He strokes his thumb gently next to the corner of Magnus' eye. "But that doesn't mean we have to have sex that way. I just want to make love to you, in any way you like."

Magnus closes his eyes for one long moment, then kisses Alec softly on the lips. "Thank you, Alexander." They share breaths and slow kisses for what feels minutes, Alec's heart hammering in his chest all the while. Eventually, Magnus lifts his head, the familiar glint back in his eyes. 

"In the spirit of compromise, I'm very willing to fuck you with any of your toys, whenever you want," Magnus says. "But let’s keep the warlock marks to eye-fucking over the negotiation table for now. You always look so edible when you try to counter-argue Raphael."

Alec groans, pushing at Magnus' shoulder in shock. "Magnus!" he says scandalized. "Now I'll never be able to look at Raphael again!"

Magnus laughs at him, mockingly patting him on the chest as if to soothe him. Alec can't help but laugh as well. Magnus just looks so pleased with him. 

"No eye-fucking at the negotiation-table," Alec says. "But, in the spirit of compromise, can I suggest some eye-fucking at a dinner table? On our next date? You could wear those pants I like." Alec counters. "And I _will_ take you up on your first offer." Alec pulls Magnus down for a kiss. "And," he adds, ever the over-achiever. "Maybe next time we use my toys, I can use my Stamina rune. So you can knot me with my toy, and then ride me until you come on my cock."

It's Magnus' turn to look scandalized. His expression quickly turns to glee however. "Deal," he says and ducks down to kiss Alec, sucking his bottom lip into his mouth. Alec groans and chases after that piercing when Magnus lets him go, their kiss turning dirty no matter that they both just came. "You drive a very hard bargain, Mr. Shadowhunter," he says when they need to part for breath. 

"Not hard yet," Alec says, flipping them over. "But I'm sure you can get me there again."

"Deal."

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Written mostly during last NaNoWriMo.  
> Yes, I'm still alive.
> 
> Yes, we still STILL haven't reached the actual knotting, I just... get swept up in intimacy and feelings with these two, I can't help it.  
> But honestly, I still don't care. I need some soft, tender Malec in my life always. Especially when they learn each other through communication.
> 
> We keep with the theme of 80s songs for the title, (by picking a song from 1975 :p) this time from Make Me Smile (come up and see me) by Steve Harley and Cockney Rebel, because I love it!
> 
> I started this series after s1, so characterization wise these two are a little different from canon Alec and Magnus, but I hope I still make it work. I think timeline wise they're a little after their first I love you's.
> 
> As always, Riri, thank you for everything, I love you!


End file.
